TOP PLACES IN LA TO CHECK OUT GORGEOUS WOMEN.

1. The Starbucks on Ventura Boulevard, next to that Laundromat, with the red awning, but not the one on Magnolia, right next to the car wash. Also not the one on the South East corner, the other one with the faux-redbrick finish and the pseudo-London theater-district appeal. That Starbucks.

2. The Grove, at 3rd and Fairfax.

3. Clear. Especially when Connor’s throwing a party.

4. Clear. But not when big black guys are offering to mow your lawn.

5. The Sadddle Ranch; but only when you’re REALLY f*cked up. Sometimes not even then.

6. Anywhere in and around the UCLA campus.

7. The Body Shop.

8. Santa Monica and Western. For those special occasions when you’re jonesing for some randy Latin action.

9. The Dresden. The ultimate hipster hang-out. Get your corduroy sports-coat, vintage VANS, sarcastic political-commentary t-shirt, and brush up on your Rousseau quotes. Marty and Elaine are playing (every night ‘til eternity)!

10. The Whales Tail in Oxnard. Lean back. Wwwwwwwway back.

11. Isn’t ten enough?