IF THERE REALLY IS A GOD...

IF THERE REALLY IS A GOD, AND HE DECIDED TO VISIT US...

… Would he go to the gym six days a week, but still want to spend the odd week “veging” out on the couch, eating Doritos and watching football?

…How would he vote?

… Would he have a masters in philosophy, with a focus on existentialism?

… What religion would he practice?

… What network would he watch to get his news?

If there really was a god…

… Whose side would he take?

… Would he protest old-growth logging in Northern BC, or argue in favor of economic growth and support un-employed mill-workers?

… Would he eat beef?

… Would he be a vegetarian, but still eat the occasional fish, because “it’s just so healthy and good for you”?

… Would he be straight?

Bi? Gay? Practice Abstinence?

If there really was a god…

Would he jerk off at night, to help him fall asleep?

IF there really is a god…

… Why can’t anyone agree on how he wants us to behave?

… Why can’t we take his name in vain?

… Why do tyrants exist?

… Is he a hypocrite?

… Does he exploit our fear of him for his own personal gain?

… Does he like heavy metal music?

… Why would he allow Lindsay Lohan to make so much money?

… Why couldn’t he have made us all equally endowed?

Oh, god…

…Are we just a giant ant farm for your personal amusement?

…Why does the world follow no logical order, and if there IS logical order in the world, why can’t I see it?

… Who ARE the good guys? Is it us or them?

… What was the point of giving us egos?

… Why do the people most interested in saving us from ourselves always end up on the evening news, with a bullet through their back?

… Will eating broccoli really protect me from getting cancer?

… Has my grand-ma been reincarnated as a mosquito and will she scream when I squish her?

Was it you who caused that big wave, and did the people who got hit deserve it?