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The Onion | What Do You Think?

The Onion | What Do You Think?: "

Joe Callister
Cashier'Awesome! Now I can call my girlfriend and join the Mile High Solo club.'"

life is an asshole

Subject: Lessons in life



The Donkey
Lessons in life

One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried
piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered
up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each
grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly.
Then, a few shovels full later, he quieted down completely.
The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw.
With every shovel full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doingsomething
amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of
dirt.As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal,
he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, the donkey stepped
up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment
of all the neighbors! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of
dirt.The trick is getting out of the well and not let it bury you, but to
shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping-stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving
up! Shake it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply.
Give more. Expect less.
Finally, the donkey walked over and kicked the living shit out of the
farmer that tried to bury him. Which brings us to the other moral of this story:
When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back and gets you.

bang bang

Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.


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